


wanna be my boyfriend

by Stromesquad



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Dumb Hockey Boys, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, M/M, Pining, Slow Burn, Tucson Roadrunners
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:24:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22995538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stromesquad/pseuds/Stromesquad
Summary: "Yeah," Connor says. "I really think this could go somewhere. What about you? How's your dating life?""I'm seeing someone too," Dylan says before he can stop the words from coming out of his mouth. "But he's on the team so we're keeping it super low key and quiet for now.""Is it Merks?" Connor asks, eyebrows raised.Dylan panics and says, "No, it's uh, Conor?"
Relationships: Connor McDavid/Dylan Strome, Conor Garland/Dylan Strome
Comments: 19
Kudos: 109
Collections: The Dylan Strome Celebration 2020





	wanna be my boyfriend

**Author's Note:**

  * For [beingothrwrldly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/beingothrwrldly/gifts).

> Hello friend,  
I was so excited to have you in this change so I wrote something I knew we both would love. Conor Garland deserves more fic so let's put that energy into the world starting here!
> 
> I cannot believe I have to put this on here but you do not have permission to read this fic on your public podcast. This fic is archive locked for a reason. Podfic permission still allowed but only if you archive lock it.

t's not like Dylan expected Connor to never date again, but he expected a much longer mourning period since Dylan is, you know, Going Through It even though he ended it. It's not like he didn't break up with Connor for good reasons. They were good reasons. Time and distance take their toll and Connor just really doesn't understand what Dylan's going through anymore. Getting sent to the minors fucking stung and while Connor was kind and a good listener, he's hockey perfect and Dylan feels like he's hockey garbage right now. 

So he broke up with Connor on FaceTime in mid-October and now it's like February and Connor is dating some girl he's telling Dylan all about on facetime and Dylan is low-key still moping even though he's the dumper and not the dumpee. 

"So, she's really nice. We met at the supermarket actually. She was trying to get something off the top shelf and I grabbed it for her. We've been dating for like two months," Connor says, blushing a little. 

"Oh, that's great," Dylan says hoping he sounds enthusiastic. Connor really wasted no time in getting over Dylan and Dylan hasn't even had a hookup despite matching with like half the gay guys at University of Arizona. He had some good chats but with the yoyo-ing between the big club and here, it just never worked out and his heart wasn't really in it anyway. 

"Yeah," Connor says. "I really think this could go somewhere. What about you? How's your dating life?"

"I'm seeing someone too," Dylan says before he can stop the words from coming out of his mouth. "But he's on the team so we're keeping it super low key and quiet for now." 

"Is it Merks?" Connor asks, eyebrows raised. 

Dylan panics and says, "No, it's uh, Conor?" 

And Dylan is one hell of a fucking idiot. Connor gave him an easy, easy answer with Nick being right there and Dylan had to say not only someone else, but someone with the same fucking name. He's not even sure Conor is into guys. He suspects, but he's not sure. At least Connor can't text him and ask like he could with Nick. 

"Oh, awesome! How long have you guys been dating?"

"It's pretty new? Like I started realizing I had feelings for him right after New Years but we didn't make anything official until after the All Star game," lies falling from his mouth like water dripping from a faucet that's leaking and he can't turn off. "I really like him. He's hilarious and fun to be around even if he makes me listen to a lot of Bruce Springsteen."

"That's great! Maybe I can meet him sometime. I'll bring my girl, you bring him and we'll double date on facetime?" 

_ Oh, fuck _ , Dylan thinks but manages to keep his face calm and voice even. "Oh yeah, sure. Let me ask him."

Dylan pulls up his texts and fires one off.

**Dylan:** _Please don't be pissed at me but I panic told my ex we're dating because he got a new girl and now he wants to FaceTime with us_

**Conor: ** _ Um, what the fuck? _

**Dylan: ** _ I can totally like put him off for a week and tell him we broke up if you don't wanna it's fine _

**Conor: ** _ idk why you said me but fine, I'll do it _

**Dylan: ** _ I'm so sorry, I really did not think he'd ask to meet you like this _

**Conor: 🙄** _ _

**Dylan: ** _ what that's for? _

**Conor: ** _ he's your best friend and your ex what did you expect? _

Dylan sighs and looks back up at Connor. "He said yes but we're on the road until like the end of the month so can we do it when we get home?" 

"Yeah, obviously," Connor says. "We're away at the end of the month but I think we overlap at home like the second weekend in March?"

"Yeah, yeah. Sounds good," Dylan says. He's glad for the break, it gives him and Conor a chance to practice dating.

There's a knock on Dylan's door followed by a text.

**Conor: ** _ let me in. _

**Dylan: ** _ Okay one sec. _

Dylan fakes a big smile. He's glad for the excuse to get off the call. "That's Conor so I'm gonna go."

"Talk soon?" Connor asks.

"Yeah, I'll text you later."

"Bye," Connor says with a dorky wave. 

"Bye," Dylan says and hangs up the call. 

He sighs and opens his hotel room door. Conor looks at him with a raised eyebrow. "Gonna invite me in, boyfriend?" 

Dylan steps out of the way and Conor brushes past him and sits down on the bed. He leans back on his hands and looks up at Dylan. 

"Of all the guys on this team, why me? Why not Merks or Crouser?"

Dylan shrugs. "Came out of my mouth before I could think about it. And now he can't text them and ask about it."

"He's still gonna text them and ask about it and now they're not gonna have any answers," Conor says, amused, a little mocking.

"Oh, fuck. Didn't think about that. Like I said, I panicked. We can just tell them now and pretend we were keeping it a secret."

Conor laughs at him now, a low chuckle. "Or we could just tell them the truth."

"No! If anyone knows, Davo will figure it out."

Conor rolls his eyes. "How did you know I was even into guys?"

"Lucky guess?" Dylan says and shrugs. 

Conor laughs again. "I guess we know our own, huh?". 

"Yeah," Dylan sighs. "Guess so." He sits down next to Conor on the bed so their shoulders touch. "Should probably come up with a story, huh?"

"Yeah, but you definitely asked me out and you were definitely embarrassingly into me and I took pity on you."

"Why do I have to be the desperate one?" Dylan scoffs.

Conor just levels him with a capital L look, eyebrows raised, mouth pursed. And okay fine, Dylan is definitely the more likely to be embarrassing. Conor is definitely cool and Dylan is definitely a nerd. 

"Fiiiiiiine," Dylan sighs. "I was the embarrassing one. Why am I always the embarrassing one?" 

Conor laughs lightly. "Do you actually want me to answer that?" 

Dylan scowls. "No."

***

Dylan texts Lawson the next morning.

**Dylan: ** _ meet me and merks in my room in 20 i have something to tell you before we go down for breakfast _

**Crouser: ** _ you owe me good coffee _

**Dylan:** _ i'll take you to starbucks and you can get whatever fancy shit you want _

Lawson knocks on their door 15 minutes later while Dylan is still brushing his teeth. He answers the door, toothbrush hanging from his mouth. 

"Thanks for coming," he mumbles around the toothbrush and lets Lawson in before going back to brushing his teeth. It's not that he's nervous to tell them he's dating a guy. They've been friends for years and they knew about Connor so they'll be fine about this. 

"So," Dylan says, stepping back out of the bathroom. "Remember how Connor and I broke up?" 

"Uh, yeah," Nick says. "You cried on my couch while watching rom coms for two weeks while I judged you for your life choices."

"Rude," Dylan replies.

"Did you get back together?" Lawson asks. "Because you could have just like texted the group chat about it."

"No, not back together with Connor but, uh, I am dating a teammate."

Lawson's eyebrows shoot up to his hairline. "A teammate?"

"Yes, a teammate," Dylan says. "It's uh, Conor Garland?" 

"Conor Garland?" Nick asks. "Did not see that one coming."

"Yeah, uh, neither did he." Dylan laughs. "He was kinda surprised when I asked him out and he said no at first but, yeah. We're dating now. Have been for like a month but we've been keeping it super low key from the team but he might like start sitting with us and like come over and hang out and shit."

"Alright," Lawson says. "Happy for you, bud. Glad you're moving on."

"Thanks Crouser." 

"So a month?" Nick asks.

"Yeah," Dylan says running a hand through his hair. "I asked him out back in December but it took him a while to warm up to the idea." 

"But it's good now?" 

"Yeah," Dylan says, forcing a little shy smile. "I really like him. Is it okay if he sits with us at breakfast?" 

"Of course," Lawson says. "He's always welcome."

They head downstairs to the meeting room set up for team breakfast and grab a table and some coffee. Conor walks in as Dylan takes his first sip and makes eye contact. Dylan nods at him and he makes his way over. Conor slides into the seat next to Dylan with a "hey babe," before reaching for the coffee.

"What, no kiss?" Lawson jokes and makes kissing faces at them.

"Yeah, and get fined until the end of time? No thanks." Conor says and Nick snorts coffee through his nose. 

Dylan blushes and puts his head in his hands. "I should never have told these assholes."

Conor rests his arm on the back of Dylan's chair and squeezes Dylan at the ribs which tickles a little and Dylan yelps. "Aww babe, it'll be okay."

"We're gonna get chirped forever."

Conor shrugs. "Worth it." And with that Dylan leans into his side. 

It feels a little weird, a little stiff, a little awkward but Conor just wraps his arm tighter around Dylan's side and he finds himself relaxing after that. 

"Oh, be careful bud," Nick says. "Or we're gonna have to fine ya."

Dylan groans and sits up straight. 

"Be ready to get fined to hell," Lawson tells Conor. "I hear Stromer is needy as fuck and his fines supplied beer for two whole team parties in Erie."

Dylan kicks at him under the table and connects with Nick instead of Lawson. "Ow," he says, leaning down to rub his shin. "Watch your aim!"

"Sorry, can you pass that on to Crouser for me?" 

Nick shrugs and a second later Lawson curses. 

"Thanks, Merks," Dylan says. 

They get through breakfast without further event. Kyle just accepts Conor's place at the table and his arm draped around the back of Dylan's chair with a firm nod and they're joined by Michael and Dysin to round out the table and that's all there is and then they're loading the bus for morning skate in San Jose. 

***

They spend one more night in San Jose after the game and then they're back on the bus at 5:00 am for the thirteen hour drive back to Tucson. They're only going to have one night at home, just enough to do laundry and then climb back on the bus for the ride out to Austin. 

Dylan sits down in his usual seat half way down the bus and busies himself getting his laptop and bottle of water out and in the seat back pocket before sticking his backpack under the seat. He startles when Conor drops heavily in the seat next to him. 

"Hey," Dylan says. 

"Figured we should sit together now that people know we're dating," Conor says. 

"Yeah, makes sense," Dylan says starting to scoot a little closer to the window but Conor puts a hand on his knee. 

"You know we're allowed to touch right? You're my boyfriend."

Dylan blushes. Conor's already so much better at this than him even though he's the one who needs the favor. He leans into Conor's side. "Sorry in advance if I fall asleep on you. I promise I don't drool or anything." 

"If you do, I'm pushing you on the floor, boyfriend or not."

"You wouldn't!" Dylan says, faux shocked.

"I for sure would so watch it. What do you want to watch?" Conor asks, pointing to Dylan's laptop. 

"I don't know. What do you wanna watch?" 

Conor shrugs. "Whatever you want."

"You're the one helping me out. You should pick," Dylan says, gently elbowing Conor. 

"Have you ever seen Gilmore Girls?" 

"No. I'm not really even sure what it's about."

"It's about like this mother and daughter and the daughter is really smart and the mom is kind of a mess. They talk faster than you do in a press scrum and they're pretty hilarious. And it's on Netflix."

"Let's do it." 

Dylan pulls it up Netflix. "This one?"

"Yeah," Conor says. 

Dylan presses play and lets himself curl up and lean into Conor. He's a lot smaller than Dylan so it takes some wiggling to get in a comfortable while he rests his head on Conor's shoulder, especially in the window seat but he's had practice sharing with Nick. Conor is maybe slightly bonier but he also wraps his arm around Dylan's shoulders and strokes his arm gently. 

"Mm," Dylan says, tilting his face up at Conor. "Feels nice."

Conor grins at him. "Yeah, obviously. I'm a great boyfriend." 

They stay like that and Dylan starts to drift off halfway through the first episode of Gilmore Girls. It's not boring, he's just tired. 

He's woken up by his shoulder being gently shaken. 

"Hey, sleeping beauty," Conor says softly. "Rest stop. I let you sleep through the first one. I'm getting off to grab some coffee and stretch. Do you want to come?" 

"Mm." Dylan sits up and stretches. His back cracks but he's not sure he needs much more than that. He's feeling a little sleep dumb. "Not really but I want a cup of coffee so I guess I'll…"

"I'll grab you one," Conor says. "How do you like it?" 

"Double double," Dylan says, yawning. He checks his watch. It's almost 10:00 and his stomach growls. They won't stop again until lunch time. "And maybe a muffin or something?" 

Conor smiles and nods, "I'll see what I can do."

Dylan looks around the bus, everyone is either off or sleeping, Nick even still has his eye mask on, so Dylan digs out his phone from his backpack to find a new text from Lawson.

**Crouser: ** * _ image attached* cute. _

In the picture he and Conor are asleep, curled into each other on the bus seat. Dylan's hunched down like he was but Conor's leaned into him further, head resting on Dylan's, eyes close, lips slightly parted in sleep.

They look… soft. And more importantly they look convincing. 

After the picture there's another text. 

**Crouser: ** _ better be careful or you're gonna get fined _

Dylan rolls his eyes and texts back.

**Dylan: ** _ just because you're jealous _

**Crouser: ** 😂😂😂

Dylan saves the picture to his phone before turning the screen off. Maybe he should get off the bus for a couple minutes to stretch at least. They've got another 15 minutes at this stop. He climbs off and makes his way over to the coffee shop/convenience store/Subway/bathroom combination just as Conor walks out. 

"Thought you weren't getting off the bus," Conor says. 

"Yeah, figured I should probably stretch though." 

Conor nods, looks around then and then stands on his tiptoes to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. 

"What was that for?" Dylan says, a little surprised at how easy Conor is at giving him affection. It took past Connor ages to be willing to hold his hand around other people but this Conor is easy with it. 

Conor shrugs. "Felt right."

Dylan looks up and Lawson is making gagging faces at him and he blushes. "I'll be right back." 

He elbows Lawson as he passes him on the way to the bathroom. 

"Not kidding about the fines, Stromer," he says and Dylan just rolls his eyes. 

When Dylan gets back to the bus, Conor's in the window seat and Dylan slides in next to him.

"Promise I won't fall asleep this time," Dylan says. 

Conor laughs and slips his arm over Dylan's shoulders and hums. "Just let me know if you don't like the show and we'll watch something else."

Now that Dylan's awake, the show is pretty good. Conor's right, they do talk pretty fast but Dylan guesses he talks at the same speed and tries to keep up. 

At their next stop, when they have a moment with no one else around, Conor says, "We should probably go on an actual date, yeah?"

Dylan nods. "Yeah. Soon?" 

"Maybe when we get to Austin?" Dylan asks.

"Barbeque?" 

"Oh fuck yeah." 

***

They have less than 12 hours at home to do laundry and repack their suitcases and then it's 4:00 am and another long day of being curled into too small seats with not enough room for Dylan's legs, naps, and further continuation of a Gilmore Girls marathon before they're climbing back off the bus in front of their hotel just outside the Austin city limits. Dylan stretches his limbs until his joints make an audible pop and he feels a little looser. 

Conor yawns, "Still wanna go on our date? We could just curl up in one of our rooms and call it a night? Just as effective."

"Nah," Dylan replies. "Let's go out. I just wanna splash some water on my face and change." 

Conor nods and they go get their room keys. 

"Meet you down here in 15?" Dylan asks. 

Conor nods and they take the elevator together before Dylan splits off to his and Nick's room on the second floor. He gets in and sets his bags down and scrubs a hand over his face. 

Now that he's in his room, he kind of just wants to stretch out on his bed and order crappy room service and watch a movie so he texts Conor.

**Dylan: ** _ i changed my mind can we just stay in _

**Conor: ** _ yeah sure I'll be there in a minute _

He sighs and flops onto the bed. 

This isn't where he thought his life would be but here he is. The door opens a moment later and Conor walks in with his suitcase trailing behind him.

"How'd you get the key?"

"Merks traded. He said 'have fun' so…"

Dylan laughs. "He's been trying to get me laid for months. Since me and Connor broke up so he's probably…" 

"Yeah," Conor says and sits down on the other bed. 

Dylan eyes him thoughtfully. "Maybe we should- uh- sit on the same bed? We have to get used to touching each other like you said."

"Yeah, we gotta- you know- make it convincing." He crosses over and sits on the edge of Dylan's bed, giving Dylan the opportunity to make room. Dylan scoots over and pats next to him. Conor slides in and Dylan leans on him. 

"Thanks," Dylan says. "For doing this for me."

Conor shrugs. "It's cool. I don't mind." 

He lets himself really lean into Conor and get comfortable. 

He flips on the tv and scrolls through the channels until he finds something mindless he can zone out to. 

It's kinda nice, just having someone to lean into. 

***

They don't actually get to go out on their 'date' until they have a blissful 7-day long homestand. They keep it pretty low key and go out for burgers one night, Dylan letting Mike know what he's doing and when he'll be home.

Mike rolls his eyes. "I'm not your dad, Stromer. You don't have to tell me where you're going and you don't have to come home if you don't want."

Dylan laughs nervously. "I know, I know. I just."

"You're nervous?" Mike asks.

"Yeah a little," Dylan says and finds it's true. He wants this to go well even if it's fake. He feels a little needy and like maybe he needs a therapist for his pathological need for everyone to like him all the time, even his ex-boyfriend who is his friend and then the guy who agreed to fake date him to prove to said ex that he's over it so they can still be friends. He takes a deep breath and says, "It's the first time we're going on like an actual date date instead of just sneaky coffee or whatever. What if he doesn't like me when we're not squeezing shit in on road trips?"

"If he likes you with constant forced contact including you snoring on his shoulder for dozens of hours on a bus, I think he's probably gonna like you on a regular date."

"Thanks, dad," Dylan smirks.

"Please stop calling me that. I'm 30 years old."

"Still a team dad," Dylan says. 

"Go! Leave for your date before  _ I  _ stop liking you," And he throws Dylan's snapback at him. 

Dylan sets it on his head backwards and walks out the door laughing. 

And Mike is right. The date goes well, even though it's fake. Conor is funny and he hooks their ankles together under the table which makes the date feel more real. 

"So," Conor says, as he grabs the bill before Dylan can get to it.

"I should pay," Dylan says. "I made you do this, so I should pay."

Conor shrugs. "You pay next time and we'll call it even. So, we should definitely do this again. It was pretty fun."

Dylan laughs, "Yeah. Yeah it was." 

He lets Conor pay the bill and Conor kisses him lightly when they get to Dylan's car. 

Dylan isn't expecting again but he's less startled this time.

"We should probably find some time to practice that," Conor says. 

He's a lot better than Dylan at this.

"Yeah. We- uh- should definitely do that." 

"We've got a couple more days at home to work with," Conor says.

"I think Mike was planning on spending the night at his girl's tomorrow if you want." 

"Yeah, sounds good," Conor says. He kisses Dylan again. "See you tomorrow," and heads to his car. 

Dylan touches his lips thoughtfully. It'll be easy to make this seem real. 

***

Conor comes over around noon the next day with a pizza and a six pack.

"So," he says, setting both down on the kitchen counter as Dylan pulls out plates. "I figured we could eat lunch and then practice like, cuddling on the couch, maybe some kissing?" 

"Yeah, sounds good," Dylan says. They eat their pizza in awkward silence, unlike the free flowing easy conversation of the night before. He doesn't really know what the difference is, maybe that they're really alone, no teammate in the next hotel room, the promise of Mike gone all night, no restaurant patrons provided the background chatter. He cracks open a beer to loosen himself up a bit and takes a sip, which does nothing to help. 

When they finish, Dylan feels stilted and nervous and he's not ready for what they're supposed to be doing. 

"Maybe we should start with some video games?" He suggests and Conor nods. 

Conor sits on one end of the couch and Dylan turns on the console and then sits down on the other. They play chel quietly at first but the chirping starts pretty quickly with Conor's "Man you fucking suck at this," when Dylan lets in his seventh goal and Conor's only let in three. 

Dylan rolls his eyes. "I'm just warming up!"

"I didn't need a warm up to immediately start kicking your ass." 

"I'll beat you next game."

Dylan decidedly does not and loses 10-5 but they keep playing, slowly sliding closer to each other on the couch until they're pressed together and elbowing each other to sabotage the game and the awkwardness of earlier is erased, beers still sitting half full and sweating onto the coasters. 

Conor's laughing as Dylan turns the game off after his fifth straight loss. 

"Okay, okay. I suck and you're the video game god."

"The rightful king of chel, say it."

Dylan sighs, "The rightful king of chel."

Conor nods smugly. "I think I'm gonna…" he starts but trails off and leans in. He gives Dylan the space to back away and say no but he doesn't. He leans in the rest of the way and kisses Conor chastely, like the kisses they've shared in public. 

It feels nice. Conor's lips are still a little chapped despite the fact that Conor's wearing chapstick but Dylan pulls back. 

Conor's smirking. "I think we need to do more than that if we're gonna get comfortable with each other."

Dylan's cheeks heat and he lets out a small 'ha'. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess you're right." 

Conor leans in again and presses his lips more firmly against Dylan's, leaning into the kiss. Dylan lets himself explore kissing for a moment before Conor's licking at the seam of Dylan's lips and Dylan lets him. He licks into Dylan's mouth and he's not shy about it. Dylan's hands go up and into Conor's hair, threading through the short strands. 

Conor hums and pulls back. "That's more like it," he says and leans back in, climbing into Dylan's lap. 

It feels good. Dylan hasn't kissed anyone in months, let alone made out with someone and he feels the pool of arousal building in his gut. He's getting hard and he should definitely stop before he does something embarrassing like moan but he can't seem to stop himself. His hands flex where they're sitting on Conor's hips and slide up to tease at the bare skin under Conor's t-shirt. Conor shudders against the touch but kisses Dylan harder and tugs at Dylan's hair and Dylan does moan at that. 

He breaks the kiss panting. "I think that's enough for today."

Conor nods and climbs out of Dylan's lap. "That was a good start," he says a little breathless. "I'm gonna, uh, go to the bathroom real quick,” he says. 

"It's, uh, down the hall, first door on the right." 

Dylan takes the moment alone to adjust himself in his pants. Actually hooking up with his fake boyfriend is definitely a bad idea, but the kissing thing is probably okay. 

By the time Conor comes back, Dylan's put on Netflix. 

"Hey there boyfriend," Conor says. 

"Hey there," Dylan smiles at him. "What do you wanna watch?"

Conor shrugs. "Whatever. It's up to you." 

Dylan puts on a movie and settles into the couch. He leans into Conor's side and puts his feet up on the couch. Conor wraps his arm arounds Dylan's chest. He finds he's comfortable there. The feeling of Conor breathing is soothing and they stay like that for hours, occasionally trading kisses whenever it seems like the time. 

It feels… really nice to be like this with someone again, even though it's fake. 

***

The travel schedule really sucks right now for the Roadrunners. They were home for a week but now they're off to fucking Michigan and Ohio and it's days on a bus and it's fucking miserable so Dylan doesn't get to take Conor on a real date again at home and they're stuck with the forced proximity of 25 hockey players and their support staff in a bus for another two weeks. 

Dylan and Conor don't really get another moment alone and Nick hasn't offered to swap rooms again so public affection is what Dylan and Conor are left with which, Dylan guesses, is probably for the best in terms of convincing people but bad for their wallets because they keep getting either fined or threatened with them. 

The first one happens at dinner at the hotel. They pull into the hotel parking lot at 8:00 pm after being stuck in traffic for three hours and Dylan's so hungry he doesn't even go up to his room, he goes straight to the meeting room designated for the team's meals. He flings himself dramatically into a chair at the first table. Conor slides into the seat next to him.

"You okay, babe?" Conor asks even though there's no one in the room to hear. 

"Just…" Dylan sighs. "Tired."

"And hungry?" Conor guesses. 

"And hungry." He's not sure how Conor is so able to pick up on his moods already. They've only been doing this fake dating thing for like two weeks but he's already got a good read on Dylan's moods and Dylan will admit he can be a moody bitch when tired and hungry. 

Conor takes Dylan's hand and they sit quietly until the rest of the team starts to trickle into the room and the hotel staff starts opening the buffet tables. Conor stands and kisses Dylan on the forehead.

"That's a fine!" Lawson calls from the doorway! "Five bucks each!" 

Dylan groans and puts his head down on the table.

"I'll pay this time," Conor says. "Do you want me to grab you a plate?" 

Dylan peeks up at him. "If you do, we'll get fined again in like two seconds." 

Conor shrugs, "I'll fight them on it. There are no rules for this. No teammates have dated before." 

"Since when did you become a lawyer?" Dylan laughs, still not lifting his head. 

"I'm just prepared. So plate?" 

"Yeah," Dylan says. "Lots of pasta? I feel like I need some carbs."

"You got it," Conor says and walks over to the buffet. 

Nick sits down on Dylan's other side. "You know, all of this is highly fineable."

Dylan decides to use Conor's idea. "There are no rules for this, bud. No one expected teammates to date and I am sure as fuck not telling you the Otters' rules. And before you say it, no, you are not allowed to call Davo or get Alex's number."

Nick laughs. "We'll make our own rules and then you're in deep shit." 

Dylan rolls his eyes. "Whatever you say."

Conor gets back with a plate full of pasta, chicken, and broccoli and sets it in front of Dylan. 

"Thanks," Dylan says.

Conor smiles at him softly. Sits down and grabs Dylan's hand and squeezes. "Any time, babe."

***

Connor texts Dylan during the Roadrunners short-lived March homestand with a " _ can we call today? I miss you bud".  _ Dylan groans and presses his phone against his forehead. Yes, he has a fake boyfriend. Yes, they're doing a pretty good job of being convincing. No, Dylan does not, in fact, want to put this show on in front of Connor right now. He's tired and their schedule has been garbage and he wants to go to bed at 9:00 instead of sitting on FaceTime with his fake boyfriend and his ex-boyfriend trying to convince said ex-boyfriend that they're dating. 

It sounds exhausting and Dylan cannot stress enough how badly he wants to go to bed at 9:00 and not wake up until 9:00 in the morning even though it only gives him a half hour until morning skate.

Okay, so maybe he actually wants to go to bed at 8:30 or even 8:00. 

He texts Connor back.

**Dylan** _ : i am really not feeling up for calling tonight. We have a game tomorrow and then we're back out on the road soon and I'm just tired _

**Davo: ** _ it's okay bud we'll figure out another time _

Dylan has the distinct feeling they won't because even though the Oilers are not gonna make the playoffs, Connor said he wants to go to Worlds and the Roadrunners  _ are  _ gonna make the playoffs and he's definitely not going to want to call during those because then, like now, he will be very tired. 

**Dylan:** _sure we will bud_

**Davo: ** _ miss you _

He doesn't really wanna say but he texts back, " _ miss you too _ " and turns off his phone. 

He does, in fact, go to bed at 8:30.

***

Dylan's phone rings just as they're pulling back into Tucson. It's Chayka and they're calling him back up for the rest of the season. He needs to be in Glendale by 2:30 tomorrow to fly out to Buffalo with the team. 

Conor's looking at him anxiously as he hangs up the phone. 

"What is it?" he asks, as Dylan slips his phone into his pocket. 

"Got called up," Dylan says with a wry smile. He's tired of the back and forth of it all and he thought after the last call up his NHL time was done for the year and there's only nine more games left. 

"I'll come over and help you pack," Conor says. 

"That would be great. Thanks."

"I can drive you back if you want, since I know Mike drove you here," Conor says. "Spend a little extra time together."

"Yeah, that would be great." 

Dylan trails Conor to the car. Conor puts both their bags in the trunk and Dylan climbs into the front seat and waits. 

Once Conor's got the car started he asks, "So should we break up now?"

Conor raises his eyebrows but keeps his eyes on the road. "You're only gonna be gone a couple weeks, right? Their last game is the seventh. Ours isn't over until the 14th and we're definitely going to the playoffs so you'll be back. We could keep it going and make it more believable. Maybe break up in the summer?"

"Yeah, yeah. That definitely sounds more believable. And you're right. I won't be gone that long. So, okay. We'll call?"

"Yeah, obviously." 

"And we can like set up a schedule for facetime or whatever."

Conor nods and they're quiet for the rest of the drive. 

Dylan's phone buzzes.

**Sizzler: ** _ i'll be out tonight so you guys can have the place to yourself _

**Dylan: ** _ thanks dad not gonna be gone that long _

**Sizzler: ** _ every time you call me dad it takes 10 years off my life please stop _

**Dylan: 😂😂**

**Sizzler: ** _ good luck up there bud, you show em what your made of _

Dylan turns his phone off. Mike's been good to him through the ups and downs this season. 

"Mike's gonna be out all night so I guess you should just stay over."

"I'll kiss you goodbye in the morning." Conor says. 

They pull up to the apartment complex and Dylan let's them in. 

"Guess we can do our laundry together instead of two loads," Dylan says. "Does any of your stuff not go in the dryer?"

"Just the gray shirt. And as long as we stay up long enough to pull them out when they're done. Would love to avoid ironing."

"We'll set a timer," Dylan says and drags both their suitcases over the laundry closet. He tosses in all their things together and throws in two of those color catcher sheets Mike keeps on the shelf. 

He closes the door and turns the machine on and turns to find Conor leaning in the doorway watching him. 

"Like what you see?" Dylan asks. 

"Maybe I do," Conor says, raising an eyebrow, mouth quirking to the side.

Dylan rolls his eyes. "Nobody's here but us." 

Conor shrugs and turns toward the living room. "I ordered you sushi," he calls over his shoulder. "It'll be here in a half hour."

Dylan nods and heads to his bedroom to start packing but realizes everything he needs to take is still in the machine. He sighs and scrubs a hand over his face and walks back out to the living room. Conor's made himself comfortable on the couch, feet up on the coffee table, scrolling through the DVR. 

"Anything you wanna watch?" Conor asks.

"I really do not care," Dylan says so Conor puts on a basketball game and Dylan sits down next to him on the couch and leans in. 

It's not a bad game to watch and Dylan does really love basketball and he relaxes. He's startled when there is a knock on the door. 

"Sushi. I'll go grab it." Conor says and leaves Dylan on the couch. He realizes he hasn't set up anywhere to stay in Glendale so he texts Jakob about staying there and gets a 'sure' in response and then sets his phone back on the coffee table face down. He doesn't want to think about it anymore. He's nervous. He's afraid he's gonna go up and he's not gonna perform and everyone's going to call him a bust again and they'd be right. 

Conor comes back with the sushi. They continue to sit quietly while they eat as Dylan broods. 

After he's done eating, Conor sets his tray down on the table and says, "You're gonna kill it, you know that right?" 

Dylan sighs, "Haven't managed to so far."

"That's not on you, man. I watched your games when you were called up and it's not you. You just weren't being given the chance you deserve."

Dylan looks down at his tray.

"Look, you have been destroying worlds down here. You eat these guys for breakfast. You're good enough. It's hard to produce when you're playing with the bottom feeders on a team that's not been great all season. You're good, Dylan."

"I just worry that I'll never be able to keep up."

"You work harder than god. You'll do it and you'll make all those keyboard jockeys look stupid. Just be you."

Dylan smiles down at his food. This is all stuff he's heard from his mom, from his brothers, from Connor and Alex and Lawson and Nick but it's different hearing it from Conor who wasn't even really his friend until this whole fake dating thing started. 

"I believe in you," Conor says and takes the tray out of Dylan's hands and climbs in his lap and kisses him even though he doesn't have to. Even though no one is watching. 

Dylan kisses back with force, hands raking through Conor's hair and Conor tugging at the hem of his shirt. He gets it half way off before the timer on the washer buzzes and Dylan startles and breaks off the kiss. 

Conor leans back and climbs off him. "Sorry," he says a little sheepish. "I…"

"Don't worry about it, man," Dylan says as he gets up off the couch and walks to the washing machine.

He switches over the clothes and presses his forehead against the door. He shouldn't want. He shouldn't let anything happen. He needs to focus on hockey and this whole thing is fake anyway. He shouldn't want but he does. 

They keep a careful distance between them until Conor is yawning and stretching. 

"So, should I sleep on the couch?" He asks. 

Dylan bites his lip and chews for a minute. "Mike will be back probably pretty early so we should probably just sleep in my room." 

"I can sleep on the floor."

"We just spent two full days on a bus, I'm not making you sleep on the floor. Now go get your toothbrush."

Dylan slips into the bathroom and gets ready for bed. Conor is already in his boxers waiting for his turn when Dylan gets out. He slips into the bathroom past Dylan, hand brushing Dylan's lower back as he goes and it's so casual and intimate and easy that it takes Dylan aback despite the kissing in the living room and the month of constant physical touch. 

It's different and Dylan can't really place why. 

He strips out of his clothes and climbs under the covers and waits. Conor slips into bed a few minutes later. Dylan keeps his distance, laying as close to the edge of the mattress as he can until Conor says with a laugh, "I'm not gonna bite you."

Dylan rolls closer to the middle but still keeps his distance. 

"We can, you know…" Conor trails off.

"We can what?" Dylan asks. 

"Spoon, if you want to. I'm okay being the big spoon if you wanna face that way."

"I might be tossing and turning all night," Dylan warns. "I get like…"

"It's okay if you're nervous. Maybe this will help."

"Okay," Dylan relents and scoots back until he's pressed against Conor and Conor loops an arm around his middle. 

And again, it's something Dylan hasn't really done in a while. The last time was August since he went to Arizona early and then he and Connor broke up anyway. 

And it's nice. Really nice actually. Dylan feels warm and comfortable and the heat at his back and the pressure of Conor's arm around his chest, his hand resting over Dylan's heart. It's the right amount of weight to calm his racing heart and let him drift, even if he doesn't fall asleep right away. 

He wonders if it feels this nice for Conor but he's breathing steady and even and Dylan would be too afraid to ask even if he was still awake. 

The feeling would be something to think about if things were different. 

But they're not.

***

Dylan's call up goes well. He gets eight points in nine games before the season ends and he feels like he's always in the right place at the right time and it just clicks. This is what it should always feel like. He goes back down to Tucson when the season ends and has an excellent first round of the playoffs with another eight points in five games but in round two they fall flat. 

It's game four and he's piled up shots on goal with nothing to show for it, even when it's from the greasy areas and Nick is shut out just the same. It's infuriating to play well with nothing going. It's dirty and ugly and brutal and not the kind of hockey Dylan wants to be playing. They shouldn't be down this far in a hole.

It's game four and Dylan had six shots and they got shut out and their backs are against the wall and if they lose the next one they're out. Dylan throws himself on his bed miserably and stares at the wall and tries not to cry. Nick doesn't come in so he figures he's off hanging out with Lawson to give Dylan space. He both hates to be alone and wants it at the same time. 

There's a knock on the door a few minutes later and Dylan trudges to the door and opens it. Conor's standing there holding the keycard in his hand. 

"If you had the key why did you knock?" Dylan asks. 

"Wanted to make sure you were willing to have company. Merks said he thought you'd need some boyfriend time so he swapped keys with me again."

Dylan steps out of the way and lets Conor into the room.

"I'm gonna be fucking miserable as hell, just in case you wanna avoid that."

"Well," Conor says. "I'd be a shit boyfriend if I let you stew alone."

Dylan lays back down on his bed and doesn't answer. Conor crawls up behind him and wraps his arms around Dylan's chest and pulls him close. 

"It's not all on you, Dylan," Conor says into the back of Dylan's neck, so close he can feel Conor's lips move. It's not all on you. It's on all of us. You can't single-handedly win a playoff series. You are good enough."

It's what Dylan doesn't want to hear but needs to hear and he wonders how Conor had figured him out so fast. 

Dylan shrugs. "I still…"

"No, you don't. You're playing your absolute heart out the same way you always do. And all the guys agree." He presses a gentle kiss to the back of Dylan's neck even though no one's there to see it. "Let's go to bed, okay?" 

Dylan nods and reaches out to turn off the light while Conor pulls him under the covers. 

He gets the best night of sleep he's had since the start of the playoffs.

***

Conor decides they should keep dating through the summer to make it more plausible that they've been dating and Dylan agrees to it. He feels an immense sense of relief that they're not breaking up and he doesn't really know why but he's glad all the same. The start of their summers are easy, a couple weeks off from training so he calls Conor and invites him to Mississauga and maybe a weekend in Muskoka and to meet Connor for real since their FaceTime call never happened. 

Dylan picks him up from Pearson and he's a little late because traffic is garbage, even in the middle of the afternoon.

"Sorry," he says as Conor slips into the front seat. "I should have left a little earlier."

"It's okay. I get it. I grew up not that far from Boston and all traffic is always a nightmare." Conor laughs. He takes Dylan's hand and squeezes. "You're here now. Now let's get out of here."

Dylan eases back into traffic and Conor tells Dylan about his week at home so far and what he has planned for the summer. He's getting a place in Boston so he doesn't have to deal with the traffic for training but he's gonna spend weekends with his parents in Scituate. He's hooked himself up with a good trainer, the guy the big name Boston guys go to.

And because of course, traffic is stupid and weird, they make it back to the Strome household no problem. Dylan's mom is standing at the counter making herself lunch. 

"Welcome Conor!" She says brightly turning to face them. She opens her arms to hug Conor and Conor steps into them with only a little awkwardness. 

"It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Strome," Conor says. 

"Oh, please," she says. "Call me Trish." 

"Trish," Conor repeats and smiles at her. 

"Do you boys want lunch? I'm making salads and Matty will be home any minute." 

Dylan looks at Conor and raises his eyebrows, letting him decide if they wanna go out or eat here. 

"A salad sounds wonderful," Conor says. "Thank you Trish."

"Oh it's no trouble. And we're having lasagna tonight so save yourself some room. It's Dylan's favorite."

Conor laughs, "I've heard him rave about it before. He wanted to try to make it for himself but Merks told him  _ 'abso-effin-lutely not you will burn down this kitchen Stromer _ ,' but I personally would have liked to see him try."

Trish laughs, "He's never really been much good in the kitchen but I'm determined to have him learn to feed himself this summer. I signed him and Matty up for a cooking class."

Conor laughs. "I'd love to see how that goes."

"You'll have to give me your phone number. I'll spectate and send you pictures."

Dylan puts his face in his hands and groans, "Mom, please!" 

Trish just smiles innocently at him like she hasn't sent ex-Connor dozens of embarrassing pictures. "Why don't you boys sit at the island and I'll finish making these."

As they sit down on their stools, Conor takes Dylan's hand and says, "I really like your mom."

"Yeah," Dylan smiles. "Me too. But she is 100% willing to embarrass me in front of my boyfriends forever."

"Aren't all moms like that?" 

"Maybe."

Trish is done with their salads soon after that and sits down next to Conor at the island and sets about the business of getting to know him. Dylan absolutely gets his personality from his mother. He's open and friendly and tries to get along with most everyone but she's better at it and he can tell Conor is comfortable here because of her pretty much much right away. He appreciates the hell out of her for that, even if part of making Conor comfortable is jokes at Dylan's expense. 

Dylan catches Conor laughing at his mom’s story about Dylan eating it hard in the backyard rink when he was five and trying to keep with Ryan and knocked out his front tooth and it didn’t grow back in until he was almost 7, even though most of his other teeth had done their thing just fine and Conor has tears in his eyes and his head’s thrown back and he’s…

Well, he’s beautiful, and Dylan doesn’t know how he missed that in all this time but he sees it now and his stomach flips both pleasantly and like the bottom is dropping out and he’s free falling from the top of the CN Tower and about to break into bits at the bottom at the same time.

Oh.

Dylan puts his face in his hands. It’s a little unfair that he’s developed feelings for the guy he’s fake dating but here he is and here he will probably stay for time unknown because he never lets go of anything. 

He takes a moment, sitting there, hiding his face until his mom is asking, “You okay over there?”

Dylan pulls himself together, looks up and rolls his eyes and smiles. “Yeah just hiding from the humiliation for a moment but please carry on.” 

Conor reaches out and takes his hand. “There have been no baby pictures yet but I think I would like to see you with that missing tooth. Baby hockey smile. You were probably real cute.” 

“I’ll allow it. On one condition. You do not tell this story to Merks or Law. It’s bad enough Mikey likes to pull this same story out even if he wasn’t there at the time.”

“Then how does he get to know this story?” Conor asks.

“He showed up with his own skates while Dylan was still crying.” 

“I am not sure I am going to let you meet the McLeods. That sounds like it ends badly for me. They know every embarrassing thing I have ever done in very great detail,” Dylan says.

“Oh, please,” Conor pouts at him. “I wanna meet all your friends. I wanna hear all about ball hockey.” 

Dylan sighs. “Maybe.”

“Maybe?” 

“Okay, probably,” Dylan relents. “We’ll see if Mikey’s free later this week.”

Conor nods, triumphant. “I cannot wait.” He yawns and stretches. “Can we nap? I’m kinda tired. I got up at 5:00 to get to the airport.” 

“Yeah. Let’s go,” Dylan says and stands up off his stool. “I’ll be down in a few to help with the dishes.”   
  
“Oh don’t worry about it. Go hang out with your boyfriend.”

Dylan gives Conor a quick tour of the house before leading him to his bedroom with the same blue walls he grew up with but he finally replaced the Crosby poster with a framed picture of the Otters from their OHL win. Conor sets his suitcase down by the door and walks straight over to the picture. He reaches up and runs his hand along the frame as he studies the picture.

“You look so happy here,” Conor says. 

“Not sure much could top that moment in my life. Winning the Cup obviously, but it was just. Erie was my home and that was and is my family still. I talk to them almost every day. We still have a group chat.” 

Conor nods. “I loved juniors but I don’t think I quite loved them the same way.” 

“Erie was special. It  _ is  _ special.” He smiles wistfully at the picture. “That’s where I really grew up.” 

Conor walks back over to Dylan loops his arms around Dylan’s waist. “I like the person it made you.” 

That’s maybe too much for Dylan to handle because it sounds so real. He blushes and looks back up at the picture because he can’t look at Conor right now. 

“So you wanted to take a nap?” Dylan asks.

“Yeah, it’s okay if you don’t want to.” 

“No, I’ll stay.” 

He lets Conor crawl into the bed and climbs in after him. Conor rests his head on Dylan’s chest and Dylan’s heart swells and even though he tries to get it under control he can’t.

And he has the feeling it’s going to keep on growing.

***

They make brunch plans with Connor in Toronto for Sunday morning which would be a terrible time to get reservations for anyone not named Connor McDavid and Dylan maybe resents that a little and is maybe definitely the reason he broke up with him in October. It was the right choice to break up with him.

It’s crowded when they get to the restaurant and Connor waves to them from a table in the back corner of the room. 

“Hey,” Connor says, standing up from the table as he approaches. “You must be Conor,” and reaches out and shakes Conor’s hand. 

“Hey, man,” Conor says.

After that Connor turns to Dylan and wraps him in a hug. “Hey Stromer, missed you bud.” 

“Missed you too,” Dylan says hugging back and then slides into his seat and immediately grabs the menu and decides on the least healthy, most syrupy pile of pancakes and he can find a mimosa for sure. 

Conor elbows him and raises his eyebrows. ‘ _ You okay?’ _ he mouths behind the menu and Dylan nods and gives a little shrug and turns back to his menu. They order mimosas and plate of avocado toast to share while Connor struggles to decide which item on the list is least likely to mess with the diet plan he’s undoubtedly never stopped despite being given a week off.

“So,” Connor starts. “How have your summers been so far?”

“Um, good?” Dylan says. “Mostly been boxing and you know Biosteel starts next week so, like, get used to seeing my face all the time I guess.” 

Connor laughs, “I’m glad you're back this year. I was worried you wouldn’t…”

“Of course I was coming back. We’re still…”

“I know, I know.” 

And this is supremely awkward and uncomfortable and Dylan really wishes it wouldn’t be. It’s not like he and Connor didn’t talk all season. They video chatted after they broke up and everything but they haven’t in a while. Not since Connor got a girlfriend and Dylan got a ‘boyfriend.’ 

“So,” Conor cuts in, trying to break the tension. “Now that we’ve covered workout plans, can we talk about something more fun?” 

Dylan finishes the rest of his mimosa. “I’ve got some fun stuff coming up. I’m going to Mexico for a week with Ryan and that wedding we’re in. Plus, weekly golf dates with the Raddyshes.” He downs the rest of his mimosa. “I’m sad you can’t come with me.” 

“I know, but I’ve got Dakota’s wedding. Speaking of, we need to get a joint gift for that.” 

“Yeah, we do. Did they post their registry yet?” Dylan asks. 

“Not yet. We’ve still got time. It’s like the beginning of June.”

The waitress comes by with the avocado toast and they order their food and Dylan considers for a moment before adding a bloody mary. They all take their slice of toast and Dylan chews thoughtfully. 

“What about you, Connor?” Conor asks. “What fun stuff do you have planned?” 

“Well, I just got back from Europe so I don’t think I’m going to do anything else. I have to fly back and forth to Edmonton a bunch of times for team stuff and endorsements which is probably enough time away from training so…”

“Wait you’re not even going to the lake house with your family this year? That’s…” Dylan says.

“I just don’t know if I have time.” Connor shrugs.

“Cam must be so disappointed. Your  _ mom _ must be so disappointed.” Dylan takes a long drink of his bloody mary. It’s strong and he wonders exactly how much vodka is in it and wonders if he should worry about it. 

“They understand,” Connor says. “My schedule has always been, like, demanding.” 

“Yeah but this is pushing it.” 

Connor shrugs.

Dylan raises his eyebrows at him. 

“They got to see me at Worlds and we spent a week traveling after. It’s fine.” 

Dylan shakes his head. “Let’s just move on then.” 

It’s tense and awkward again and Conor takes Dylan’s hand under the table and squeezes. Dylan maybe finishes the rest of his bloody mary too fast because it’s gone before the rest of their food even gets there. This brunch sucks and it really shouldn’t. He and Connor were fine during FaceTime and video so he’s not really sure why this is going so absolutely haywire. Conor doesn’t let go of his hand after that until their food comes which is great because they mostly sit in uncomfortable silence until then.

Dylan orders another mimosa and digs into his pancakes and feels a little better. 

Conor finally breaks the silence and says, “So what was it like playing in juniors with Dylan?”

And it’s a perfect way to break the tension because Connor may not have been there as long but he really did love Erie, so he immediately launches into a story about Alex DeBrincat trying to prank Dylan and failing and Dylan failing even worse trying to prank him back, and things kind of smooth out from there. They end up trading stories about Dylan in Erie and Dylan in Arizona and Dylan doesn’t really have to say much of anything. He just eats his pancakes and drinks his mimosa.

And it might help that Dylan’s a little drunk now and when he finishes his pancakes and is just working on his bacon, he wraps his arm around Conor’s shoulders and leans into him. 

Eventually Connor says to Conor, “I’m really happy you’re dating Dylan.” 

Dylan’s eyes widen and Connor continues, “You just seem like you get how special he is and…”

Conor turns and looks at Dylan and then back at Connor. “Yeah, he’s pretty great.”

“And he really deserves to be happy and you make him happy. So, thank you? I guess? For making him happy when I couldn’t anymore.” 

Conor blushes. “He’s really easy to love.” 

Dylan can’t stop himself when he leans over to kiss Conor on the cheek.

“Back at ya, babe,” he says, and wishes he didn’t mean it so much.

Connor picks up the tab for all three of them and Dylan leans into Conor as they make their way back to Dylan’s car. 

“Hand me the keys, big guy,” Conor says when they get there. Dylan hands them over and they both climb in.

“Sorry I got a little drunk,” Dylan says as Conor pulls the car out of the parking space.

“It’s okay, that got a little intense and if I were you, I’d probably have been just chugging.”

“Sorry. I didn’t expect it to be like that. We’ve been fine to FaceTime and…”

“Were you really fine, though? You know, you asked me…” 

“Yeah, maybe we weren’t fine but that was kinda bad,” Dylan says. “I just didn’t expect it to be, you know, like that.” 

“I get it. Exes are hard and with you guys it’s extra sticky and complicated.”

“Sorry,” Dylan says again. 

Conor takes his hand off the steering wheel and reaches out to squeeze Dylan’s hand reassuringly. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for.” 

Dylan leans his head against the window, closes his eyes, and wishes things were easier, wishes they were actually dating or that he didn’t feel this way, all caught up in Conor. 

They decide to make it an easy day after their tense brunch with Connor. Dylan sobers himself and drinks some Gatorade and they head down to the basement. Matty and Ryan are already down there watching a movie. Dylan lays down on the end of the sectional and pats the seat next to his head for Conor to sit in and then rests it in Conor’s lap. Conor gently runs his finger through Dylan’s hair.

“Guessing brunch didn’t go well,” Ryan says, pausing the movie and looking at Dylan. 

“It was, uh, not great but Conor salvaged it. I don’t really wanna talk about it,” Dylan says, sighing. “Can we just watch the movie?” 

“Yeah,” Matty says. “Maybe we can play some video games with the McLeods later?” 

“Yeah, I guess,” Dylan says. “I just wanna…”

Conor looks down at him. “It’s okay babe.”

Dylan nods into his thigh. He drifts off during the movie and wakes up a couple hours later to Conor talking with Matty and Ryan, not needing Dylan to do anything at all. He appreciates his brothers a lot, but never more than right now.

***

“Hey sleeping beauty,” Conor says when Dylan sits up. “You feeling a little better?” 

“Yeah,” Dylan stretches and wrinkles his nose. “A little thirsty, a lot wanting pizza and video games.” 

“I’ll run upstairs and get you something to drink.”

“Nah, stay down here. I’ll be right back.” Dylan heads upstairs and checks his phone. He has five texts, two from Connor and three from Mikey.

**Connor: ** _ sorry brunch was so weird _

**Connor: ** _ i really like conor, he seems great _

Dylan elects to ignore those for now and opens Mikey’s.

**Mikey: ** _ uh bro wtf _

**Mikey: ** _ when the fuck am i gonna meet this new boyfriend  _

**Mikey: ** _ i thought we were bros _

Dylan laughs and texts Mikey back.

**Dylan: ** _ tonight strome v mcleod mariokart tournament _

**Mikey: ** _ beer _

**Dylan: ** _ if you want _

**Mikey: ** _ can nater come _

**Dylan: ** _ i just expect him to be here at this point _

**Mikey: ** _ sweet, we’ll be there in a half hour _

Dylan grabs his Gatorade and orders the pizza and heads back downstairs. 

“McLeods are coming over. I ordered pizza. Sorry for this Conor, Mikey is a lot.”

“But I hear he has all your embarrassing stories?” Conor says. 

Dylan groans. “He does, but you had to meet him eventually and today might as well be Humiliation Day.” 

Conor goes up on his tip-toes and kisses Dylan on the cheek. “Can’t be that bad.”

“We’ll see.” 

The McLeod-Bastian contingent arrive as promised a half hour later with Mikey loudly announcing his arrival and clattering down the stairs trailing Nate and Ryan behind. 

He tackle-hugs Dylan. “Where’s the boyfriend?” he asks.

“I can introduce you if you get off me,” Dylan mumbles into a mouthful of Mikey’s shoulder and Mikey climbs off him. “Mikey, this is my boyfriend. Conor, this is Mikey.”

“Sorry about him,” Nate says as he catches up to Mikey. “I’m Nate. I’m Mikey’s boyfriend and that’s little Ryan. He’s an actual McLeod, I’m a McLeod by marriage.” 

Ryan plops down in his usual spot next to Matty and waves. 

“And he’s little Ryan because that’s big Ryan?” Conor asks and points at Dylan’s brother. 

“Yup. And technically this Matty is little Matty because Mikey’s older brother is also named Matt.” 

“This is…” Conor’s eyes a little wide. “Very confusing.” 

“Sorry,” Dylan says. “We didn’t pick the names. We’re just stuck with ‘em. At least Mikey and I are different.” 

Mikey sticks out his hand for a high five which Dylan gives him without even looking. 

“Are we gonna team up?” Mikey asks Dylan. 

“We’re playing MarioKart, how do we ‘team up’?” Conor asks. 

“We relay it. One person starts the race, we pause when the first person hits lap three and switch out,” Nate explains. “It’s kind of ridiculous. I didn’t make it up.”

“It started because we only had three controllers down here and there were six of us. And some people,” big Ryan explains, looking directly at Mikey, “Were not very good at taking turns. So we figured out relays.” 

Dylan shrugs. “It’s a little choppy but it’s a lot of fun. You in?”

“Yeah, let’s do it.” Conor says. 

Mikey punches Dylan in the arm, “We teaming up?” 

“I was going to ask my  _ boyfriend, _ ” Dylan says. “Maybe you should team up with yours.”

Nate just shrugs and looks at Conor. “I never stand in the way of Team Middle Child and you probably shouldn’t either.” 

Conor laughs. “Okay, so Team Boyfriends?” 

“Team Boyfriends,” Nate nods and fist bumps Conor.

“What are you doing Ryan?”

Both Ryans answer at the same time with “Matty,” from little Ryan and “Going home to my girlfriend,” from big Ryan. 

“Why don’t you invite Syd over?” Dylan asks. 

“We were thinking about dinner with JT but I’ll call her.” 

Syd does decide to come over and she gets there just as the pizza does so they eat and then start the tournament. After the stress of the morning, this was exactly what Dylan needed. The tournament runs for hours and eventually big Matt shows up but is forbidden from playing for being Too Late. 

Conor spends a lot of the night laughing and Dylan spends a lot of the night watching. Conor’s so beautiful when he laughs and Dylan’s heart continues to feel too full.

The eventual winner, dethroning Team Middle Child, is Team Boyfriends, and Mikey pouts so Nate kisses him and pulls him into his lap and Conor sits down next to Dylan and rests his head on Dylan’s shoulder. 

“Sorry for beating you,” he says. 

“Eh, beginner's luck. There’s a reason Mikey and I are 10 time champions of this game. We’re good and we’ll beat you next time.”

Conor laughs. “We’ll see.” 

They eventually head upstairs and climb into bed and Conor wraps himself around Dylan again. He’s getting far too used to this sensation and it’s going to hurt when Conor leaves. 

***

Conor’s last morning comes for too soon for Dylan’s liking which continues to be another thought that’s far too emotional for a fake boyfriend. They’re laying in bed curled together and Conor’s running his fingers through Dylan’s hair.

“You should come visit me,” Conor says. 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah. I know July is bad for both of us but we could spend the weekend in Scituate. There’s a decent gym so our trainers won’t get too mad at us. And there’s the beach and we could go deep water fishing. You could meet my parents.”

Dylan eyes him thoughtfully. “Probably should if we’re gonna keep fake dating. Meeting your parents since you met mine.”

Conor presses his lips together, just a brief, fleeting change that if he wasn’t watching so closely he might not have noticed. It’s a little pained and it maybe makes him want to hope but he refuses to.

“Would August be good? I know it’s close to when we have to go back to Arizona but I know we both have a lot in July.”

“Yeah, I can do August.” 

Conor smiles. “First weekend?” 

Dylan shakes his head.

“Second weekend.”

“Second weekend. We can book my flights now if you want,” Dylan offers.

“Nah, I just wanna lay here a little longer.” 

“Okay,” Dylan says, and closes his eyes. He’s gotten too used to this and he’s going to miss Conor too much.

Dylan misses Conor the instant he steps out of the car at the airport. In the grand scheme of things, Dylan knows they won’t apart long, less than two months, but in the meantime they’ll have texts and snaps and FaceTime and that’s both too much and not enough.

***

Dylan flies into Boston early afternoon on a Thursday and goes with Conor to his afternoon workout and get dinner in Boston with Eichel and Hanny and then drive the 45 minutes to Scituate. It’s hard to believe this town is only that far away. It’s a quaint little beach and fishing town that looks like every picture Dylan’s ever seen of New England. A small downtown with restaurants, and coffee shops, houses with wooden shingles, bikes leaned up on the sides. It looks like a pretty peaceful place to live. They don’t get in until 10:30 so Conor’s parents and sister are already in bed and Dylan quietly tip toes behind Conor to his bedroom. 

“So,” Conor says softly. “This is my bedroom. Sorry it’s not very big.” 

“It’s nice. Cozy. I kinda like it.”

The walls are a pale shade of blue and Conor’s bedspread is gray with lighter gray stripes. 

“They’re uh, turning it into a guest room since I decided I was gonna live in Boston this summer. There used to be a lot more Bruins posters.” 

Dylan suppresses a laugh. “No Sidney Crosby posters?” 

“I was a Bruins fan and a Bruins fan only as a little kid. There was no room for anyone else.” Conor smiles sheepishly. 

“I was always a die hard Leafs fan but I had so many Hockey Canada things.” 

Conor shrugs. Dylan tries to stifle a yawn but it comes out anyway.

“You tired?” Conor asks.

“Yeah, a little.” Dylan says, stretching.

“We can go to bed. Bathroom is across the hall. I’m going to go grab a couple extra pillows from the closet.”

Dylan brushes his teeth quietly and when he gets back, Conor’s finished putting the pillows on the bed and has changed into his pajamas. He slides past Dylan to head to the bathroom and Dylan climbs into bed and scrolls through his phone waiting for Conor. He texts his mom and lets her know he’s there and that he’ll text her in the morning. Conor comes back in and wraps himself around Dylan.

“Goodnight,” he whispers into Dylan’s hair. 

“Goodnight,” Dylan whispers.

He doesn’t fall asleep right away but it’s easy to relax into Conor’s arms. He feels settled and he knows he needs to end this soon because he’s getting a little helpless.

***

Dylan wakes up the next morning to the smell of fresh coffee and frying bacon. The bed is empty but still warm. He rolls over and presses his face into Conor’s pillow and breathes. He’s going to enjoy this while he can. Conor comes back into the room.

“Good morning,” he says smiling softly. “There’s breakfast downstairs if you want it.”

Dylan stretches and yawns. “That sounds good.”

He rolls out of bed and throws on a pair of shorts and follows Conor downstairs. His mother is standing at the stove, frying bacon and his sister is sitting at the table, one leg up on the chair playing on her phone. She looks up first.

“Oh, hi,” she says, standing up from the table. “I’m Kori, Conor’s sister.”

“Hi,” he says a little awkwardly. “I’m Dylan. Um, nice to meet you.” 

Conor’s mom turns around and smiles. “Hi, Dylan. It’s nice to finally meet you. Please call me Bridget. Mugs are in the cabinet above the coffee maker and milk is in the fridge if you need it. Help yourself.”

“Thank you,” he says, making his way over towards the cabinet but Conor grabs two mugs. 

“Sit. Eat some bacon. I’ll make your coffee.” 

Dylan sits down at the table next to Kori. “So Conor tells me you play lacrosse?” 

“Yeah. I head back to school next week for student athlete week, so you coming this weekend was pretty good timing,” Kori says.

Conor comes back and sets his mug down in front of him. It has Scituate High School Class of 2014 on it. Dylan smiles at it and then sips his coffee until Conor’s mom sets a plate of bacon on the table. 

“How do you like your eggs, Dylan?” 

“Scrambled is fine Mrs-” Bridget raises her eyebrows. “Bridget.” 

“What are you boys doing today?” She asks as she cracks eggs into a bowl to scramble them.

Conor scratches his nose and looks out the window. “Hopefully going to the beach if the weather clears up.” 

“It should,” Kori said. “I’m going for a run but I might meet you later if that’s okay.” 

Conor looks at Dylan and Dylan shrugs. 

“Yeah, that’s good.” 

The sun does break through the clouds by 10:30 and Conor and Dylan take the ten minute walk down to the beach. It’s not crowded yet, too many people chased away by the early clouds, so they get their prime pick of spots and Conor sets them down just where the sand is starting to dry. 

“Tide’s going out so our stuff won’t get wet,” Conor says. He puts down his beach chair and lays the towel off the back.

Dylan sets his up and then sits down. 

“Nope, sunscreen bud.” Conor stands in front of him and holds out the bottle of sunscreen. “You get my back, I get yours.”

Conor looks unfairly good, summer weight put on, filled out in all the right places. He’s still small, smaller than Dylan, but he’s strong and sturdy and the muscles in his back jump when Dylan spreads the sunscreen on it.

“It’s cold,” he says and Dylan laughs. 

“Okay, next time I’ll rub my hands together and warm it up for you.” 

Conor looks over his shoulder and rolls his eyes. “You’ll see what I mean.” 

They switch places and Dylan bends his knees farther than necessary and Conor whacks him on the shoulder with the bottle of sunscreen. 

“Rude,” he says and smears a whole handful of sunscreen across the middle of Dylan’s back and he’s right, the sunscreen is a little cold, holding the chill of the air conditioning from the house. 

Once their backs are done they sit down in their chairs and watch the water. It’s nice. It isn’t hot yet and the sun is warm on his skin without burning. He knows it’ll get hotter later but for right now, it’s really nice, like being at the lake except the air smells like salty and tastes a little tangy. 

Eventually Conor gets bored of sitting and says, “Hey let’s go in,” and takes off towards the water. He runs out up to his hips and then drops down underwater before Dylan’s even really left their spot. 

“Bring the football,” Conor yells. 

Dylan grabs it from the bag and makes his way into the water. It’s a little cold, bites at first but he adjusts pretty quickly until he’s almost to Conor where the sands starts to slope more steeply and he gets hit with a cold current. He yelps.

“Toss me the football and just go under. It helps.”

Dylan glares at him. “I know, I have been in water before.”

Conor laughs and Dylan tosses him the football and dunks himself under and pops back up right next to Conor and dunks him. He loses the football to the water but Dylan grabs it before it can float away. Conor wipes water from his eyes. He takes the football from Dylan’s hands and tosses it hard enough that it lands on the shore. 

“Nice arm,” Dylan starts but Conor tackles him and dunks him in the water. The wrestle for a little bit and he’s lucky the water’s cold because if it wasn’t he’d be in deep shit. They keep going, taking turns dunking each other until they’re short of breath though it’s probably from the laughing.

By the time they’ve made their way out of the water Kori’s there holding the football and they play a very wet game of catch. 

They stay out on the beach until Conor’s nose and shoulders start to turn from pink to red and make their way back home.

“There’s an outdoor shower if you wanna use that,” Conor says. “Or I can use it and you can shower inside.”

“I’ll take the outdoor one.” 

Conor hands him a towel or the door. “Right side is hot water, left side is cold and they turn opposite ways.” 

It’s kind of fun showering outside. After their showers, Conor and Dylan pile onto one couch together while Kori takes the other and they put on a movie. Dylan takes a nice afternoon nap and then they have steaks off the grill and sit around the fire pit that night. 

“This is really fun,” Dylan says, as Conor climbs into bed next to him. “Thanks for inviting me.” 

“You could always come back next year you know,” Conor says.

“But we’ll probably break up before then,” Dylan says and Conor gets this closed off look on his face and rolls to face away from Dylan. Dylan looks out the window and watches clouds blow across the room until he falls into a fitful sleep.

***

He wakes up a little later the next day than he means and Conor’s already downstairs. It’s pouring rain and he’s a little disappointed.

“Sorry you’re getting a day of rain while you’re here,” Conor says as Dylan drops down next to him. “It’s supposed to be like this all day.” 

Dylan shrugs. “Rain happens, you can’t control the weather.” 

“Still,” Conor says.

“We can hang out in the house and play video games and go to a movie or something. It’s fine.” 

“I think my parents said something about having a board game day when they get back from breakfast. They were supposed to go out hiking today but now they can’t.” 

“That sounds fun,” Dylan says. “But be warned, parent presence doesn’t make me less competitive.”

“We’re a family full of athletes. You’re good as long as no one flips a table.” 

“That much I can promise. If no one in the Strome-McLeod clan has made me flip a table, nothing will.”

When everyone’s back, they play Settlers of Catan and it’s the closest Dylan’s ever come to wanting to flip a table when Conor and Kori team up to hoard resources and then Conor builds a sheep empire. 

“Sibling team-ups are no fair,” Dylan says.

Conor’s dad, Garry, laughs, head thrown back. “I have literally never seen them work together to beat anyone in a game before, not even for the worst cousins.”

Bridget pats Dylan on the back. “Maybe Monopoly will go better?” 

Monopoly does not in fact go better and Dylan finds it very hard not to pout. Conor kisses him on the cheek. “Sorry, sorry. I can’t help it. I’m just really good at board games.” 

Dylan turns and kisses him on the mouth. “You’re lucky you’re so cute.”

“Come on, let’s get out of here. We can go to the movies. You can’t lose at the movies.” 

Dylan rolls his eyes and sighs. “Okay, let’s go to the movies.” 

They drive over to the theater and don’t really catch any of the plot because they make out like teenagers in the back corner the whole time.

They stop and pick up take out for dinner on the way home and they all sit around the kitchen table for dinner. Conor’s parents fill Dylan in on the embarrassing stories they didn’t tell him about and Conor sits with his arm resting over the back of Dylan’s chair the whole time. It’s hard to tell if Conor’s blushing under the sunburn from the day before but Dylan thinks he might be. 

Dylan can imagine Conor growing up, imagine him being happy here, imagine him retiring from hockey someday to live in a house like this one near his family and near the beach. It makes something in Dylan ache.

He goes to bed with a little bit of a hollow feeling in his chest that only fills half way when Conor wraps around him.

***

There are fireworks Dylan's last night in Scituate before he goes back to real life instead of this little beachtown bubble where being with Conor has felt more real than it ever has. He and Conor make the walk to the beach and set up in lawn chairs and look up at the sky. When the fireworks start, Conor reaches out and takes Dylan's hand and holds it through the entire show. It's not long, just 15 minutes of small town fireworks from a boat in the harbor, but it feels like a nice way to end the trip. 

When the show ends, they pack up their beach chairs and walk back to the house holding hands again. 

"Do you wanna use the fire pit?" Conor asks when they get back. It's not that late, only 10:00 and Dylan's flight out isn't until 5:00.

"Yeah. That sounds nice." Conor heads to the back yard to light the fire and Dylan stashes their beach chairs in the shed and goes inside to grab a six-pack from the fridge. He really likes this Cape Cod beer Conor buys. 

"Did you boys have a nice time?" Conor's mom asks.

"Yeah," Dylan says. "Really nice. Thank you for letting me stay here this week."

"Oh, no problem honey. You're welcome here any time. I've never seen Conor as happy as he's been this week."

"Oh," Dylan says, a little surprised. "I… he means a lot to me. I had a little bit of a rough year and knowing I had Conor by my side really helped." He finds he really means it. 

"You just keep making him happy, okay? He says you're probably gonna make the team this year so just, don't forget about him," she says and smiles softly. "I'm heading off to bed. You boys have a nice rest of your night."

"Thanks," Dylan says. "Goodnight."

Dylan takes the six-pack outside and flops down next to Conor on the wooden bench. He pulls out a beer and cracks it open. "I think your mom just low key gave me the shovel talk," Dylan says and takes a swig of his beer. 

"She seems to really like you," Conor says in response. 

"I'm good at parents. I hope she isn't too sad when we fake break up." 

"Nah, she'll be okay," Conor says and shrugs. "You're just the first person I've ever brought home."

"Really?" Dylan asks, eyebrows knitting. That's hard to believe. For as much as Conor can be a sarcastic little shit, he's a good person, and a person Dylan has fallen in love with despite his better judgement and it's hard to believe he's never had someone to bring home. 

"I just haven't really dated much. You know, gay in hockey, not always the easiest thing to be."

"Yeah," Dylan sighs. "I'm sorry the first person you brought home was me."

"Nah, it's okay. I think it made my mom worry less that I'll be alone forever even when we do break up."

"That's good at least," Dylan says and takes another swig of his beer. 

They sit by the fire drinking their beers and talking and laughing until the fires burned down enough for them to go to bed. Dylan's maybe a little tipsy and he blames it on that when he pulls Conor in and kisses him against the door of the bedroom, gentle but hungry. And he blames it on that as he pulls Conor's shirt over his head and skims his hands over Conor's chest and he blames it on that when they're naked and pressed together in bed, dicks sliding against each other, and he blames in on that when he lets Conor finger him open and he blames it on that as Conor slowly fucks him. 

It's soft and tender and everything Dylan wishes he could keep and knows he doesn't get to. He wants to hold on with two hands and his heart is breaking because he knows it has to end. He's dreading that day.

He starts to doze, as they lay there, knees tangled together but still a little apart when Conor whispers into the space between them

"Hey, you know why I said at the beginning that you'd be the embarrassing one?"

"Yeah," Dylan says, unsure of why Conor is bringing this up now, of all times.

"It's because you're so passionate about everything. You feel so much and you try so hard and you're so devoted to the people you care about. You give everything and I wish I had even half of that. I wish I had even half of that devotion. God Dylan, you're so much and if I could have even just a little piece of that. I… I'm in love with you and I know you don't feel..." he trails off like he just can't finish that sentence, like it would hurt too much to say it out loud. 

"You… what?" Dylan can't believe what he's hearing.  _ He's _ supposed to be the one with all the feelings.  _ He's  _ supposed to be the one whose heart is breaking while Conor walks away.  _ He's  _ supposed to be the one who tries to keep it together while they slowly put distance between themselves. 

Conor shrugs helplessly, crinkling the sheets and shifting the pillow under his head.

"Say it again," Dylan whispers.

Conor's eyes are wide, pleading. "Please don't make me. It's…"

"Please," Dylan says. "I need to… please just say it one more time."

Conor covers his eyes with his hands. "I'm fucking in love with you."

"Look at me," Dylan says and Conor shakes his head and Dylan gently pulls his hands away but Conor's eyes are closed. "Look at me," Dylan pleads.

"I can't," Conor says. 

"Look at me," Dylan says again and kisses each of Conor's eyelids gently. "Look at me."

Conor finally opens his eyes and when he meets Dylan's gaze, Dylan says, "I love you too. Have for a while." 

Conor's smile is sweet. "Can we really make this work?"

"I mean, we have so far," Dylan says. 

Conor laughs. "Yeah, I guess we have."

Dylan leans in and kisses Conor gently. He rests their foreheads together and they fall drift off to sleep. 

***

**Epilogue: December 2019**

It's late when they land in Chicago, and later when they get to the hotel but Conor can't wait anymore. The key to Dylan's apartment is burning a hole where it sits in the pocket of his suit. He gets the key to his hotel room but doesn't even go up, he just calls a Lyft and wheels his suitcase outside with him to wait. 

The ride to Dylan's is blissfully short and he lets himself into the apartment and quietly toes off his shoes by the door and makes his way down the hall to Dylan's bedroom. Dylan doesn't stir as Conor slips out of his suit but he hums as Conor sits on the edge of the bed.

"Mm. Didn't think I'd see you until tomorrow morning," Dylan says, opening his eyes a little and looking at Conor. 

Conor laughs and slips under the covers and Dylan curls into him. Conor wraps his arms around Dylan and strokes his hand through his hair. "Didn't wanna wait. Why sleep in an empty hotel room when I could be in bed with you?"

Dylan nuzzles his head into Conor's neck and presses a gentle kiss there. "Missed you."

Conor kisses his forehead. "Missed you too." 

Dating in the NHL isn't easy. Dating long distance is harder. But it's absolutely worth it for this moment. 


End file.
